This Is 30!

I was asked quite a few times since last week how it feels to turn 30. It sounds like an odd question when you think about it. How should it feel? Have I changed from one day to the other? Am I a different person now than I was last week? I feel like the answer to this questions should be a simple, "It doesn't feel any different", but I really could not answer it at the moment, because although I am still the same person, it did bring different sentiments and feelings knowing that I am an official "adult".

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As soon as you hit 27, you suddenly realize that you're so close to what seems like the end of your life. I mean think about it, how many middle age adults have you heard growing up saying that they spent their 30th birthday crying. I had to have heard it about a dozen times growing up. Then you throw in Hollywood movies and shows like 13 going on 30 and The Friends episode where they all turn 30, and you are left with this notion that if people make such a big deal about turning 30, it must be for a reason.

So with that, you can't really blame the late twentiers (I know it's not a word but go along with it) for making such a big deal about turning 30. They suddenly feel pressured to figure out their lives, get married, have children, and have the dream career in just a couple of years. Its like the "when I grow up" saying, is really set at 30. The reality is, you're not done growing up at 30!

I remember the feeling I had on my 29th birthday. It really felt like a quarter life crisis guys, like everything was going to change in just one year. Almost as if it was my last year to live it up because in just 12 months I would be an official "old adult", and well life would never be the same. That's my dramatic ass soul for you!

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I even made a bucket list for myself that I named 30 before 30. I know I was being a tad bit dramatic, but I honestly recommend it. Not because life really ends at 30, but because it really helps to see your goals and aspirations, as well as a motivation to put check marks on those things you've always wanted to do. My list included things like getting my passport and going to a foreign country, going to a comedy show, starting this blog, etc.. Although I wasn't able to complete the entire list, I did complete 80% of it during that year. I am now adding more to the list and adjusting it, and am turning this bucket list into my yearly goals list!

So to answer the question, "how does it feel to turn 30"? My first thought was, holly crap I'm an adult. My next thought was everyone is going to die! I know, it's my dramatic soul again, but really, I started thinking about things that people over thirty years old have to deal with, and that was death and illness (which happen to be my greatest fear). I felt this horrible gut feeling fear and came to realization that after a certain age, people in your life, including yourself, start to get illnesses and eventually we all will die. Although we never know when that could be, we all live in hopes that we and the people around us will all grow to be old and gray. Turning 30 for me was a realization that life is short and I need to live life and enjoy my loved ones, because we are one day, year, decade closer to loosing them and dying ourselves.

So with that being said, at age 30, life goes on. Things that seemed like a big deal in my 20's no longer are. I also measure my success by the quality of life vs. the quantity now, and time is more valuable now than it ever was. So yes my mentality changed, but I'm still the same old Miri. This is 30!

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