To Have More Children Or Not

Be happy in this moment, this moment is your life

Pictured here are my two boys, two nieces and kid sister.

I wanted to use my blog post today to discuss the question I get asked most often. You know, the "your boys are so cute", followed by "are you going to have more kids?" question. It's not that I don't want to be asked, or I'm bothered by the question, is that I simply don't have a response.

A few years ago, even last year, I always responded with a "heck yeah, I want at least 4 kids". Of course people always looked at me like I was crazy for even wanting to have that many children. My husband and I love children and love being parents above all things, so it seemed natural to want a big family. I always knew I wanted to start having kids in my twenties. In fact, I wanted to be done by 30. But now that I'm just a few months away from my 30th birthday, I realized how unrealistic this expectation was.



Before I got pregnant my third time, read more on my miscarriage here, we decided we would have at least one more, but I would need to break my no babies after 30 rule. I really don't know how moms do it with multiple babies in the home, but for us it's hard enough having one baby in the house, so getting pregnant again while having a toddler in diapers is not a choice.

However, after my miscarriage, we really don't know if we want to go through the complications of pregnancy and birth again. I've been told that this feeling will pass with time, but pregnancy and the newborn stage are an extremely stressful and anxious time for my husband and I. We have considered adoption as well, and it has always been in our hearts to adopt, but I've looked into it and trust me, it's not easy.

So with that I leave the question pretty much unanswered. Right now we are working on our personal and family goals and enjoying every minute with our two munchkins. We have left it up to God and time to decide whether we will have more or not. In the mean time, we feel incredibly blessed to have two beautiful and healthy boys, something we have come to appreciate even more after miscarriage. Most importantly, I am learning to not set strict expectations on myself, but rather set realistic goals and be happy in the present!